Struggling to speak up at work? Here's how to have presence in a room
Words by Janie Van Hool
L’esprit d’escalier… the spirit of the staircase – in other words, that perfect reply or retort that pops into your mind as you head back to your desk after a frustrating meeting. Why, oh why, didn’t it come to you when you needed it most?
We all long to be the person that pipes up with impact at crucial moments in conversations and meetings – the person that quiets the room and commands attention, offering the right thing to say at just the right time. The person with presence.
But here’s the thing… presence is in the eye of the beholder. What works for one person, won’t appeal to another.
What we need is the courage to give it a go.
Start by making yourself easy to engage with – position yourself so that you may be easily seen by most people in the room.
Also consider placing yourself opposite the key decision maker so that you can catch their eye when you want to interject. If you’re online, be the first person on the call so you can engage in conversation early and use all the tools – chat box, hand signals, emojis etc. to announce that you are ready to participate in the conversation.
“Speak up and speak clearly. I want to hear what you have to say because it matters.”
Secondly, know why you’re there and what you want to contribute so that when you have a chance to speak, you can be crisp, clear and confident. Take time to distil this into one or two sentences before you start the meeting.
Thirdly, look like you want to be there. Don’t wait for the moment that’s most relevant to you to try and engage – look interested in all of it. In a room, lean forward; signal that you are listening and make connections with others.
You never know who’s watching and what impact your presence may have. If you’re online, participate by commenting in the chat, asking questions throughout the call, and using hand clap emojis. If on Zoom or Teams, use self-view to monitor how engaged you look and make any necessary adjustments. Be very conscious - in person and online – about the energy you are projecting.
If you look like you don’t want to be there, you won’t be able to create any kind of presence.
Finally, seize attention by using people’s names to attract attention. It’s much harder to offer an opinion to a group without drawing the attention of an individual first. Saying a person’s name breaks the conversation flow and brings attention your way.
Joel de Luca in his thesis on organisational politics suggests trying to focus on the 51% of people in the room who are the decision makers. So don’t try and please everyone… frame your messaging to satisfy the people who can support your ideas.
Be prepared for it to be imperfect….The important thing is you contributed and established your presence. No matter what comes to you on the staircase – you made a connection and brought yourself and your ideas into the room. You can successfully build from there.
Janie Van Hool is a prominent communication expert specialising in leadership development programmes and executive coaching. As Founder and Director of VoicePresence, Janie has worked as a workshop facilitator and 1:1 coach for more than 20 years, and teaches at some of the world’s top business schools including the Ashridge Hult flagship senior executive leadership programme. She is also the author of The Listening Shift: Transform your organization by listening to your people and helping your people listen to you.