Just 9 really good confidence hacks from the experts
The low self-esteem day happens to everyone. And it’s okay to feel that way occasionally, but what’s not okay is letting those negative feelings steal precious time and energy away from your day.
With that in mind, we asked experts on health and wellbeing for their single top-tip for helping to wrestle those low days back under control.
Here’s what they had to say.
Ask for proof
"To gain self-confidence, challenging our negative self-talk is essential. This self-talk is just an opinion, and we can ask it for evidence. If it then suggests you've not performed well in the past, for example, retort with past performance is no clear indicator of future performance. Keep questioning it and give it nowhere to go." - Phil Drinkwater, Business Coach
Control your breathing
“Like most people, when I’m nervous my voice can really give me away. It gets shaky and can crack. That’s because when you’re nervous you don’t breathe properly. So if you want to speak up, or before a presentation or something that feels challenging, take time to focus on your breath. Bring it right down into your belly and inflate it like a balloon. Slowing down your breathing activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which helps your whole body get calm. And you have the added bonus that breathing lower in your body increases the strength and resonance of your voice too!” - Sinead Sharkey
You are enough
“Know the difference between entitlement and deserving. Entitlement is when you think you should have things because of who you are. Deserving is when you think you should have things because of what you’ve done. You’re entitled to nothing; but you deserve it all. Don’t think you haven’t done enough, suffered enough, paid your dues, worked hard enough, etc. if you’ve ever had a kind thought and wished someone well, broadcasting good intentions, then you deserve success. You’ve done enough.” - Justin Donne
Change your view
“Try to see your work as a service to others. Whether it’s a big work presentation, a job interview or a meeting with your boss - try to see yourself as making a difference, and trying to help others. This can give you a huge boost in confidence, because it takes the pressure off you, as an individual, and focuses on your work. By thinking of others, we can fully lean into our power and responsibility, and find more confidence in the process.” - Eloise Skinner
Pause (literally)
“The mid-sentence pause is perhaps the most powerful signal of confidence anyone can emit. To use it in a room guarantees you the attention of those present. When we speak in high stakes scenarios, the temptation to fill every silence with more words, or with an 'um'/'er' can be overwhelming. So resisting it is powerful. You may recognise the mid-sentence pause from UK politics between 1997 and 2007. Virtually everything Tony Blair said publicly was punctuated with counter-intuitive pauses. Next time you're tempted by an 'um' or a needless qualifying clause, try a midsentence pause instead.” - Dominic Reynolds, Kekst CNC.
Look at your CV
“If you are struggling with confidence, my advice is to be aware that your skills and experience are unique and that is what gives you authority in your field. Simply reading your CV, looking at your LinkedIn profile or writing down a list of the things you are proud of, can give you a life and show you how credible you are.” - Natalie Trice
“If you’re feeling like you don’t belong and that you’re out of your depth, reassure and remind yourself of your professional achievements. Sometimes, all you need is a little bit of a confidence boost to get yourself back on track.
“Find the time to sit down and make a list of all your notable achievements and/or awards you’ve gained while in the role. This way, if you’re ever left thinking that you’re a ‘fraud’ you can reference your list of accolades to reassure yourself. Perhaps you were praised by your Manager, complimented by a client for a great piece of work, named employee of the month, or perhaps you brought in a lucrative new client.
Any achievement that proves you deserve to be where you are today should be noted and used as motivation for the times when you're not feeling so confident.” - Lee Biggins, Founder and CEO of CV-Library.
Make a list
“'List out all your strengths, talents, experience and expertise, challenges you have overcome and how you grew from them. Give yourself permission to take pride in what you do well, tap into those feelings of confidence. If self-doubt creeps in the future...check back in with your list.' - Aimee Browne
Be your own cheerleader
"“Become your own coach! Get a pen and a piece of paper, fold it in half and on the left-hand side write down everything you are worried about. Get it all out and release it all. Once you have finished approach each point on the right-hand side as if you were talking to your best friend. What advice would you give them? This will help you to step out of the emotional state and into problem-solving. When you get objective about your blocks it's much easier to clear them!” - Jenna O'Keefe
Get clear on what you want
“Getting clear on what’s important to you and why is critical to feeling confident. You’ll be able to focus on how you’re going to achieve those goals with the knowledge that you know what you’re doing and your reasons for doing it. It will give you the confidence you need to shut out the voices of any naysayers, assertively defend yourself against well-meaning advice, and stay focused on your own goals.” - Anna Lundberg, One Step Outside
And remember - nothing is permanent - this can be one of the most effective tools against low self-esteem. Remind yourself: this, too, shall pass. Change, internal and external is a constant in life. It's what makes the unbearable bearable, and the beautiful, poignant.