How to handle self-doubt at work
Words by Yetunde Hofmann
Self-doubt happens to many leaders no matter how successful, admired and lauded they are for their achievements.
There are those individuals who just seem to have it. They hold an audience in their hands, when they speak up in the most challenging and fraught of meetings, the whole room listens and nods in agreement with their suggestion; when they crack a joke, everyone laughs and just want to please them.
The reality is that this individual also faces moments of self-doubt; it may be less than you do – and that’s a guess – but they still do. Whilst self-doubt may be difficult to overcome, there are ways in which you can start managing it and here are three ideas that you can try.
Affirmations rule
I love positive affirmations because they help in combating and neutralising negative thoughts which tend to accompany self-doubt.
There is a science behind them - as reported in this article in Healthline, they work. The key is to keep them short and memorable and to repeat them daily.
Ensure they are meaningful to you and that they are statements of what you believe or want to believe about yourself. I remember my positive affirmations from years ago and whenever I am gripped by self-doubt, I repeat them to myself over and over again to feel better.
This is especially helpful in the lead up to important meetings, job interviews and/or company presentations you know you want to feel good about afterwards.
Choose your travel companions wisely
The last thing you need are friends and people in your network who encourage you to focus on your weaknesses, compare you to colleagues and others who have what you think you want and generally drag you down.
These are people who may not even know that the impact they have on you is unhelpful.
Therefore, now is the time to evaluate the quality of your network and decide with whom you want to spend more time with.
Choose friends, family and colleagues who build you up, encourage you to focus on your strengths and support you in being the best version of yourself.
Life is too short to have people around you that have you doubting the talent that you have and all that you want to contribute to the success of your team and company.
Gratitude helps
One way to combat self-doubt is to remember the good things about all that you have today.
Your job, a roof over your head, colleagues that you can work with and breath in your lungs. The socio-economic challenges in the world today remind us of what is important in life – the power of community, family, and relationship.
In addition to that, having an attitude of gratitude, as reported in this Harvard Health article, has been found to support the success of leaders in organisations by improving their mental health and growing their confidence.
Journal, journal, journal
One of the best ways of handling self-doubt at work is to journal.
If you don’t have a journal, now is the time to invest in one. At the end of each week, look back on your week and record in your journal all your strengths that you demonstrated in the week to date.
Record all the times you were at your best. Be as detailed as possible. What was the occasion, which of your colleagues was there, what you said, what they said and how you felt.
Do this each week and in the moment of doubt, take out your journal and read all your entries. You are that same person who achieved all those goals, made all that difference to your team’s work, and will continue to make a positive impact.
Doing the above will contribute to your growth in self-confidence and the management of the inner voice that often accompanies self-doubt.
As you grow in your leadership one thing that will underpin this and more, to enable sustained success is the pursuit of love. Love is the most critical capability a leader must have – it is the capability to love without condition – first yourself and secondly others.
This unconditional acceptance of self and others as human beings is what will enable you to combat self-doubt whilst providing an environment for other leaders regardless of where they sit in the organisation relative to you, to also love without condition, be all of who they are without censure and be confident in what they have to offer to contribute to the organisation’s success.
Yetunde Hofmann is a Board level executive leadership coach and mentor, global change, inclusion and diversity expert, author of Beyond Engagement and founder of SOLARIS – a pioneering new leadership development programme for black women.