10 ways to deal with rude people at work

ConfidenceResilience
Written By Laura Linham

If you work in a large company or within a team, not all employees or colleagues may get along. On occasion, you might come across a rude, unpleasant employee who causes friction and tension within your group or department.

Many individuals may try their hardest not to let their colleagues bother them, but sometimes you may feel it's necessary to address their behaviour.

If you’re in that predicament, but you’re not sure how to deal - we’ve got you covered.

What is rude behaviour?

A person can come across as rude in several ways, often in any manner that leaves you with a negative feeling, which is why it's important to know how to deal with rude people.

Often a colleague may not realise that they are behaving rudely, whereas on other occasions an employee may choose to be deliberately rude to people or a select group of individuals.

Additionally, you may feel that a colleague is rude all of the time or just rude in some instances, appearing to be a 'good' person the rest of the time.

Here is a list of ways in which a colleague or employee can behave rudely:

  • disrupts the workplace with loud conversation or jokes

  • displays poor manners in group settings, such as in the break room or during meetings

  • consistently fails to greet or acknowledge others

  • is dismissive of other colleagues' opinions

  • fails to refill or restock shared resources like coffee machines, supply shelves or stationery

  • uses crude language, offensive gestures or disdainful nonverbal reactions

  • spreads gossip or attempts to encourage bad feelings amongst other employees

  • stands over a colleague who is busy on the phone or at their computer

  • takes credit for other people's work or ideas in conversations, meetings and emails

  • leaves equipment such as photocopiers in an untidy or malfunctioning manner

  • interrupts others who are engaging in conversation or meetings

  • offers unsolicited negative feedback on business decisions, company policies and procedures or colleagues' work output

It's worth noting that a rude colleague may have reasons or excuses for their behaviour, such as an issue in their personal life. If you feel that their behaviour is harming the company or colleagues, then it may be worth interfering in some way. It may be difficult in some instances, but is often necessary.

Here are 10 methods for you to learn how to deal with rude people:

Discuss with the team member in private and make your feelings known

When you first notice that a colleague is behaving rudely, you could decide to have a private, one-on-one chat with them.

You might calmly and politely express your feelings about their behaviour, how they are hurting you and contributing to a challenging working environment. They may be unaware that their actions have been offending, so by directly addressing the individual, they may understand that they can make an effort to change their behaviour for the benefit of their colleagues and the company.

Consider the cause of the behaviour

When confronting a rude colleague, you may wish to try and figure out what is causing them to behave erratically.

You may find that they have a work issue that is affecting them or there might be an event happening in their personal life that is causing stress and carrying over into the workplace. You may be able to offer advice that can benefit them if they are undergoing a stressful situation.

Understanding the situation they are in can help you to empathise and offer support to help your colleague.

Check with trusted colleagues and see if they mention the same thing

If you believe someone is behaving rudely, then you may wish to gather other people's opinions on the person. If they have similarly noticed that the colleague is expressing harmful behaviour, then you know that their behaviour may be having an effect on the entire workforce.

Colleagues may also be able to help offer advice and the best way to approach your rude colleague. If you find that it is only you who has taken offence, you may wish to consider if you're overreacting or have misinterpreted their behaviour.

Objectively observe by removing yourself from the situation

When you are directly and closely involved with a rude colleague, you may find that you are becoming emotionally involved in the situation. This can affect your behaviour when you come to confront them. Instead, try to imagine yourself observing the colleague from afar as if you had no relationship with them so that you can have an objective mindset.

This can help you to take a rational approach when dealing with their behaviour to address their rudeness, whilst doing your best to remain unaffected by it.

Limit your interactions with them as much as possible

If the rudeness of a colleague is negatively affecting you, you can choose to avoid them as much as possible. This may prove challenging since you most likely work near them, but only dealing with them when necessary can help to reduce those negative feelings.

By removing yourself from the rude colleague and their situations, you can focus more comfortably at work, take a more positive approach to your tasks and engage with more helpful, pleasant colleagues.

Try not to react to them rudely, but rather, kindly

When dealing with and engaging with an employee who's being rude to you, it can be easy to react to them similarly and behave rudely back to them.

Although you may not even want to do this, it is best to remain calm and approach them in a collected manner. If you react rudely, you may make the situation worse and create further tension between you and within your office.

By taking a kinder approach, you may have a better chance at resolving the situation and reconciling with the colleague.

Use humour to resolve bad feelings

You may feel that an employee is acting rudely to you as a result of tension between the two of you. Perhaps you disagreed early in your relationship or haven't bonded with them.

You can try to handle their rude behaviour through humour, to try to dispel any bad feelings that you have. Try to find some common interests that you can laugh about, as this can help to relieve any awkwardness that you experience.

A shared experience or self-deprecating humour can help to build a more positive relationship with them.

Document repeated rude behaviour

If your colleague is behaving rudely on a continuous and repeated basis, you may wish to take a record of their rude behaviour. Not only can this help you to detach yourself from the general situation, but you can also bring up this record if their behaviour suddenly escalates.

You can bring this record of their behaviour to a manager or supervisor if the situation becomes very serious, which can provide a clear resource detailing when and how they behave rudely.

Try not to take it personally

Another method you can use to deal with a rude colleague is to try to not take their rude behaviour personally.

This could be especially useful if you feel their behaviour is negatively affecting you and hampering your ability at work. It is most likely that your colleague generally behaves rudely and is not just doing it to you as a result of some fractious relationship between you both.

They may also believe that their behaviour is normal and act in the same way towards all of their colleagues.

Talk to your manager or supervisor

You can always discuss the colleague and their behaviour with a manager, supervisor or human resources member if you feel it's necessary.

You can choose to do this if you are unsure whether their behaviour is contributing to a hostile work environment and affecting the morale of other colleagues.

You could choose to remain confidential and may not want to disclose who the rude colleague is. Whoever you speak to may even be able to offer some guidance regarding how to deal with them and may make a reminder not to behave like this in the next meeting.